You hear about attacks on homosexual
people all the time, but homosexual
animals? Homosexuality apparently
does occur in the animal kingdom, but the
subject seems way off most people’s radars.
But apparently not off Jim Swanson’s.
Swanson told police he had been watching
“two gay male dogs” have sex on Makena
Beach nearly every morning for the last six
months. Swanson lived illegally in the jungle
behind the beach.
“I don’t like gays,” Swanson said in the police
report. “The anus is exit only, but if people
and animals want to gay (sic) then do it
behind closed doors. Although, I don’t mind
womens (sic) being gay. I can watch gays
womens (sic). These dogs should have taken
their shameful business into the woods and
hid under some shrubs, and I told them that
all the time, but they didn’t care. They are
proud of their homosexuality and want the
world to see it. Sickos.”
A family vacationing from Michigan were
playing on the beach when they saw
arrows flying from the jungle and sticking
into the sand around the dogs.
“We knew somebody was trying to hurt these
dogs,” the witness said. “It was arrow after
arrow and when the breeding dogs didn’t
run, I knew it was just a matter of time
before a dog was speared and injured or
The witness ran into the jungle, found
Swanson with a cross bow and a stack of
arrows and made a citizen’s arrest.
“It took both my wife and and my twin boys
(aged 12) to keep Swanson detained,” the
witness said. “He was extremely intoxicated
and belligerently yelling ‘I hate gay dogs’ and
Police arrived shortly and detained Swanson.
Police are currently holding Swanson, but
have yet to formally charge him, although
animal endangerment and illegal hunting
charges are likely on the way.
To make things even more bizarre, police
found 50 laminated photos of mating dogs in
Swanson’s back pocket that he allegedly
printed from the internet.
“We’re not certain what the [photos] are
about and Mr. Swanson doesn’t seem to
want to tell us,” an officer from the Maui
Police Department said. “But it’s not a crime
for the suspect to have these kind of photos
in his possession.”