Great sex involves every part of you. It happens when you let go and give into the moment and your feelings for each other. The way that you view yourself affects how much you let go. Whether you’re bigger or “skinny,” your weight has an effect on your sex life.
I got married to the love of my life at 18 years old. I was average, and our sex life was hot. As I got older and had to work jobs I hated, I turned to food as a coping mechanism. I gained 170 pounds in five years and hated how I looked. This negative self-image crept into our sex life.
I didn’t want the lights to be on because I was ashamed of how big I had gotten. I couldn’t give into the experience because, in my mind, I was wondering if my wife was picturing herself having sex with someone who looked better than me. I pulled away, and what once was a steamy sex life, turned into a constant argument.
Here are five ways my weight affected my sex life — and could be hurting yours.
1. IT CAN KILL YOUR CONFIDENCE
There is nothing sexier than a confident man (or woman). Your weight can kill your confidence if it’s not where you want it to be. Great sex requires confidence in yourself and what you’re doing. You can’t be confident if the only thought on your mind is a negative view of yourself. The lack of confidence can make you feel like less of a man.
2. IT CAN DRAIN YOUR ENERGY
What you eat and how active you are (through exercise) affects your energy levels. Everyone who reads this will have a different kind of sex life, but all of them require energy — especially for those longer sessions. If you are overweight or out of shape, you won’t last as long or enjoy it as much because the energy won’t be there.